Prostate check-up.

 

Prostate check-up... An old guy goes to his doctor for his medical check up and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor. The female doctor says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say, '99'. The old guy obeys and says,"99". The doctor says, "Great". Now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say, '99". Again, the old guy says, '99'." The doctor said, Very good. Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say, '99'. The old guy begins, "One ... Two ... Three" ... You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing!!!

Jokes : "What is the fastest thing you know?"

A  Indian  applies for a Job at Wal-Mart.
An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring  an  individual to fill a job opening.

After sorting through a  stack  of resumes he found four people who were equally   qualified --  an American, a Russian, an Australian  and  a  Indian

He decided to call the four in and ask them  only  one question. Their answer would determine who of them  would  get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around  the  conference room table the  interviewer  asked,
"What is the fastest thing  you know?"

Dave, the  American, replied,  "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your  head.  There's no warning that it's on the way;  it's just there.  A  thought is the fastest thing I know of."

"That's very good!" replied  the interviewer.

"And now you sir?" he asked Vladimir , the  Russian.  
"Hmm.... let me see. A blink!  It comes and goes and you  don't  know that it ever happened.  A BLINK is the fastest  thing I know."

"Excellent!" said the interviewer.  "The blink of  an eye, that's  a very popular clich for speed."
He then turned  to George,  the Australian who was contemplating his reply. 

"Well, out at my dad's ranch,  you step out of the   house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that   switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on. Yep,  TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."
The  interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had  found his man.  "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he  said.

Turning to  Patel , the  Indian , the fourth and final  man, the interviewer posed the same question.  
Patel replied, "Apter herring da 3 preybyus ansers sir, et's  obyus to me dat the fastest thing is DIARRHEA."

"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others  were  already giggling in their seats...
"Oh, I can expleyn  sir," said  Patel .  " You see, sir, da ader day my tummy was  peeling bad and so I run so fast to the  batrum, but before I could  THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had alreydi done it in my  pants!"

Patel  is now the new "Greeter" at
Wal-Mart. 

Kisah & Khasiat Teh

​Milis Gramedia :  

Buku Baru Gramedia Pustaka Utama 31 Maret 2011

Kisah & Khasiat Teh
Tanti, Ratna Somantri

120 hal  Rp. 65,000

Di balik kesegarannya, teh menyimpan beberapa zat yang 
diyakini dapat menjaga kesehatan tubuh, misalnya untuk:

a.. Membantu menurunkan berat badan
b.. Mencegah kanker
c.. Memperbaiki kesehatan kardiovaskular
d.. Menyehatkan pencernaan
e.. Menurunkan gula darah
f.. Membuat awet muda

Di dalam buku cantik ini, penulis mengajak kita menikmati 
teh yang sebenarnya. 

Melalui cara penyeduhan dan seni meracik yang benar, 
teh dapat tampil dalam rasa yang luar biasa. 

Aneka resep minuman teh dingin dan panas yang lezat dan 
praktis serta aneka resep makanan yang berbahan dasar teh 
juga disajikan di sini.

"Sebutannya mudah, 'Teh', tetapi tidak demikian kenyataannya. ... 
Kisah dan Khasiat Teh ini akan membuka tabir misteri daun yang 
unik ini." --William W. Wongso

"Tidak banyak orang yang memiliki passion yang sangat kuat 
terhadap teh seperti Ratna Somantri. Passion, knowledge, dan 
pengalamannya dengan teh dituangkannya dalam buku ini. 
Ini buku wajib bagi para pencinta teh dan penyuka kuliner." 
--Johnny Andrean

10 CARA UNTUK HIDUP BAHAGIA

Pas bongkar2 e-mail lama ketemu 10 Cara Hidup Bahagia,
lupa dari mana sumbernya, ada yang tahu ?


10 CARA UNTUK HIDUP BAHAGIA
 
1. LEPASKANLAH DARI KEKUATIRAN DAN KETAKUTAN.

Kekuatiran dan ketakutan hanyalah imajinasi pikiran akan 
suatu kejadian di masa depan yang belum tentu terjadi, 
kebanyakan hal-hal yang engkau kuatirkan dan takutkan 
tak pernah terjadi!
Itu hanya imajinasi pikiranmu.
 
2. BUANGLAH DENDAM DAN AMARAH.

Dendam dan amarah yang disimpan hanya akan menyedot energi 
dirimu dan hanya mendatangkan kelelahan jiwa. BUANGLAH!
 
3. BERHENTILAH MENGELUH.

Mengeluh berarti selalu tak menerima apa yang ada saat ini, 
secara tak sadar engkau membawa-bawa beban negatif.
 
4. BILA ADA MASALAH, SELESAIKAN SATU PERSATU.

Hanya inilah cara menangani setiap persoalan satu demi satu.
 
5. TIDURLAH DENGAN NYENYAK.

Semua masalah tak perlu dibawa tidur. 
Hal tersebut buruk dan tak sehat, biasakanlah tidur dengan nyaman.
 
6. JAUHI URUSAN ORANG LAIN.

Biarkan masalah orang lain menjadi urusan mereka sendiri. 
Mereka memiliki cara sendiri untuk menangani setiap masalahnya.
 
7. HIDUPLAH PADA SAAT INI, BUKAN MASA LALU.

Nikmati masa lalu sebagai kenangan, jangan tergantung padanya.
Konsentrasilah dg hidupmu pada kejadian saat ini, karena apa 
yang engkau miliki adalah saat ini, bukan kemarin, bukan besok.
 
8. JADILAH PENDENGAR YANG BAIK.

Saat menjadi pendengar, engkau belajar dan mendapatkan 
ide-ide baru dari orang lain.
 
9.BERPIKIRLAH POSITIF.

Rasa frustrasi datang dari pikiran negatif, kembalilah berpikir 
positif. Bertemanlah dengan orang-orang yang berpikiran positif 
dan terlibatlah dengan kegiatan-kegiatan positif.
 
10. BERSYUKURLAH.

Bersyukurlah atas hal-hal kecil yang akan membawa engkau pada 
hal-hal besar.
Sekecil apapun karunia yang kau terima, akan menghasilkan hal-hal 
besar dan selalu membawa engkau kepada Kebahagiaan saat engkau 
bersyukur.

The age gap

The age gap

At 85 years of age, Roger married Jenny, a lovely 25 years old. 

Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding
she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned
that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the
entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and
the expected 'knock' on the door.
Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger,
her 85 year old groom, ready for action.
They unite as one. All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride,
and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door,
and it's Roger.  Again he is ready for more 'action'.
Somewhat surprised, Jenny  consents for more coupling.
When the newly weds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids her a fond
good night and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it - Roger is
back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old,
ready or more 'action'. And, once more they enjoy each other.

But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him,
'I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and
so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only
good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger.' 

Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says:
 'You mean I've been in here already?' 

The moral of the story:

Don't be afraid of getting old, Alzheimer's has its advantages.

PS.   Have I sent this to you before??

Akan segera terbit buku kedua Agustinus Wibowo : Garis Batas.

Dalam FB nya Agustinus Wibowo dari Beijing menulis :


My second travel writing book is being published in Indonesia. The title is Garis Batas (Borderlines), focusing on ex-Soviet Central Asian countries (the "Stans") and how the artificial nations created their pride.
-------------------------

Negeri apa di seberang sungai sana? Penduduk desa Afghan setiap hari memandang ke “luar negeri” yang hanya selebar sungai jauhnya. Memandangi mobil-mobil melintas, tanpa pernah menikmati rasanya duduk dalam mobil. Mereka memandangi rumah-rumah cantik bak vila, sementara tinggal di dalam ruangan kumuh remang-remang yang terbuat dari batu dan lempung. Mereka memandangi gadis-gadis bercelana jins tertawa riang, sementara kaum perempuan mereka sendiri buta huruf dan tak bebas bepergian.

Negeri seberang begitu indah, namun hanya fantasi. Fantasi tiga dimensi yang menemani mimpi-mimpi mereka. Fantasi orang-orang yang hidup di seberang garis batas.

Fantasi yang sama membawa Agustinus Wibowo bertualang ke negeri-negeri Asia Tengah yang misterius. Tajikistan. Kirgizstan. Kazakhstan. Uzbekistan. Turkmenistan. Negeri-negeri yang namanya semua berakhiran “Stan”. Perjalanan ini bukan hanya mengajak Anda mendaki gunung salju, menapaki padang rumput, menyerapi kemegahan khazanah tradisi dan kemilau peradaban Jalan Sutera, ataupun bernostalgia dengan simbol-simbol komunisme Uni Soviet, tetapi juga menguak misteri tentang takdir manusia yang terpisah dalam kotak-kotak garis batas.

Petualangan Agustinus Wibowo di buku ini seakan mengajak kita untuk masuk dan melihat sendiri tempat-tempat yang selama ini tersembunyi di peta dunia. – Andy Noya

VOX AMABILIS presents MUSIC OF THE NIGHT.

VOX AMABILIS Vocal Ensemble
presents

MUSIC OF THE NIGHT
excerpts from Operas and Musicals

Irene Astika Dewi, soprano
Nuke Yuliana, soprano
Dien Fajria, alto
Santi R. Natakusumah, alto
Nugraha Tri, tenor
Kenar Pradipto, tenor
Firman Saragih, baritone
Risayogi Wicaksana Sitorus, bass

Leo Simanjuntak, chorusmaster
Yuty Lauda, pianist

Thursday, March 24th 2011, 8 pm
Erasmus Huis
Jl. HR Rasuna Said Kav. S-3 Kuningan
Jakarta

Ticket : 50000 IDR

Contact Person : Kenar (082113206285)